


Astounding Hope

by RunxInxThexRain



Category: The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Baby!Anna, Dad!Will, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Mom!Tessa, Pregnancy, Wessa, Wessa pregnancy, baby!James
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:49:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29942676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunxInxThexRain/pseuds/RunxInxThexRain
Summary: Every night of late, Tessa found herself dreaming of little boys or girls, with Will’s wild dark hair and her grey eyes, or of her belly swollen, and Will’s face full of hopeful anticipation and so much love. The realization of reality upon waking from these dreams, like cold water splashed into her face, left her feeling hollow, like she had lost something so precious that she only briefly had grasped.
Relationships: Tessa Gray/Will Herondale
Comments: 7
Kudos: 16





	Astounding Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Deals with fertility issues

Baby Anna grasped the necklace Will had given her for Christmas, staring up into Tessa’s face from where she sat bouncing in her lap. Tessa felt her heart tighten.

“Oh, don’t do that, my dear,” Cecily admonished, sweeping in to disentangle the necklace and to lift Anna back up into her arms.

“It’s alright,” said Tessa, finding her voice strained.

Cecily, ever the perceptive sister-in-law, gave Tessa a strange look as she sat back down in the adjacent armchair.

“You and Will…” Cecily began.

Tessa interrupted, “You know, I ought to call for tea. You just wait there, Cec, I’ll be right back.”

“Tessa-”

Before she could go on, Tessa had slipped out the drawing room door and shut it, turning her back to the door and shutting her eyes against the well of emotion.

She and Will had been hoping for a child for so long now. At first, when they had married, they had said it would not matter, that they were so young and had years to think about starting a family. And Tessa did feel so lucky to even get to have a life with Will, a future, that had once seemed like such an impossible thing. But as the years had passed, Tessa could not help the hope, the wishing, that she would bear Will’s child. 

Painful memories flash through her mind, of Will on the roof of the Institute – a different Will, who pushed the world away out of fear – lashing out, throwing her potential infertility in her face.

She no longer blamed Will for what he felt he had to do during his years as a cursed boy. But the sentiment still haunted her.

She was a warlock, after all. And yet, she was a shadowhunter. A strange dichotomy, a veritable oxymoron, and what it meant for her, she was still learning.

Every night of late, Tessa found herself dreaming of little boys or girls, with Will’s wild dark hair and her grey eyes, or of her belly swollen, and Will’s face full of hopeful anticipation and so much love. The realization of reality upon waking from these dreams, like cold water splashed into her face, left her feeling hollow, like she had lost something so precious that she only briefly had grasped.

She knew that conception was not the only way to make a family. And Tessa did love the idea of adoption as well, and indeed did not wholly rule it out as something for the future. But she could not help this innate desire she had to experience the miracle of creating life with Will, of bearing Will’s child and making him a father, a miracle that so many women were able to experience, took for granted even. Unwanted thoughts of jealousy sprang to mind, of Cecily and Gabriel, and Sophie and Gideon, who had both conceived not even a year into marriage.

Of course, the act of trying was not a hardship. Indeed, after five years of marriage, she and Will still could barely keep their hands off each other. But it was the exhausting repetition of life-giving hope and then soul-crushing heartbreak each month, when her cycle arrived, and the pain of seeing Will masking his own disappointment for her sake. Her Will. Always putting on a joyful face for her. But she knew her husband better than anyone, and could see her own pain mirrored at the edges of his strained eyes, in his posture, in the way he gathered her to his chest to allow his own mask to crack just a moment. Why, just last month…

Last month…

Tessa paused, mind whirling with calculations.

She needed to find a calendar.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you follow along on this little Wessa journey! Currently only rated T, but if you know me, sometimes I just can't help the smut...
> 
> And if you have also felt the heartbreak of fertility issues, know that you are not alone ❤️


End file.
